daren's blog

Shut up. Yes I know it isn't Wednesday but I fucking am going to kill several people quite shortly.

You see that cunt over there? I'm gonna kill him. I will use all my pent up barbaric rage and quite literally rip him to shreds. Then, unfortunately, I shall become berserk and uncontrollable and kill everyone at work. That's roughly 700 people. Minus holidays and illness. They're the lucky ones.

Once I've killed all the people at work, whether I know them or not, I am going to drive really fast into reception area and hopefully cause several Pouns worth of damage. Then I shall get out of the car. Realise that I've taken one of the work pool cars by mistake. I will then laugh and laugh and laugh, get into my real car and drive away, feeling much happier about myself and life in general.

Today is Wednesday.

Therefore, like all Wednesdays, I went out and shot some people. It's a mid-week thing. If I don't shoot at least 7 people, of varying races, genders and religions (I don't like to be prejudiced), then I go mad and end up going on a killing spree. So I have to kill a few to save a few more.

Then I went home and fed the dog. He loves me, my dog. Especially since I feed him on only the most succulent of morsels. Thighs, mostly.

Today I shut up for a bit.

Then I went to the library. Where I had to shut up for a bit.

Now I'm back at work. I told someone to shut up.

Earlier, an old lady asked me for directions to the post office. I told her to shut up.