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Fan Fiction: Richard and Judy

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Submitted by Timbus on Wed, 23/05/2007 - 2:53pm.
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Scene One - Restaurant

 

Judy: This place will do. I'm hungry.

 

Richard: Commence door opening!

 

Judy: Thanks for opening the door for me, Richard. I knew marrying you was a good idea.

 

Richard: Initiate smug algorithm!

 

Judy: Okay, now we're sitting down and the waiter is coming over, what do you want for your dinner Richard!!!!!

 

Richard: Bacon!

 

Richard Bacon enters, looks confused, then leaves.

 

Judy: Two bacons please, waiter!

 

Waiter: YES

 

Richard: Commence waiting! Waiting. waiting.. waiting... waiting complete!

 

Judy: Let's eat our dinner now oh no Richard you're got bacon all over your new shirt!

 

Richard: ERROR

 

 

Scene Two - Dressing Room, Channel Four Studios

 

Judy is dancing. She dances and dances. No music is playing. She dances erotically, and begins to rub her portly frame against Richard, sat down.

 

Richard: Mode select>Mode 4: Aroused; commence erection!

 

Judy: Richard!!!! Is that a mars bar in your pocket or your throbbing, pulsating penis?

 

Richard: Suggestive euphemism!

 

Judy: Oh, Richard!

 

They kiss.

 

Judy: Oh no Richard, only three minutes until we are on air!

 

Richard: Activate premature ejaculation!

 

Judy: My eyes!

 

The director enters the room. His head turns as he surveys the room, spying firstly the nude Judy, followed by Richard's now flaccid penis, moving onto the carefully set up "eroticsville" (a chair that Richard sits on during the dances). He turns his head back, and looks at Judy with a questioning look.

 

Judy: You turny headed prick!  

 

Scene Three - At home.

 

Richard and Judy are in bed. Judy is reading.

 

Richard: Activate crotch.

 

Judy: Richard, no! I'm incredibly tired and in no mood for that. I've had a very tough day down the mines and I need a good night's rest. Okay, honey?

 

Richard: Redirecting flow of life-force to crotch area...

 

Judy: Richard!

 

Richard: Redirecting.

 

Judy: Richard, I said no!

 

Richard:  Redirecting.. Redirecting...

 

Judy: Stop it at once!

 

Richard: Redirection complete.

 

Judy: Richard, you can't! That is just too much for a woman to take without preparing herself!

 

Richard: Initiate mounting sequence.

 

Judy: Argh, Richard, no! Get off me! Argh!

 

Richard: 10 - Thrust; 20 - Goto 10.

 

Judy screams

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