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PRIME Minister to-be Gordon Brown yesterday told a packed press conference how he envisioned a "better future for Britain"...by making use of the world's first time machine.

The crowd gasped as Mr. Brown unveiled the contraption, with one man losing his monocle in shock. Built in secret by top government scientists and designed to resemble a Vauxhall Cavalier, circa 1987, the machine is Labour's latest weapon in the bid to win back voters dismayed with the current administration's record. Mr. Brown hailed it as "the most important development in anything, ever."

Mr. Brown then proceeded to demonstrate the time machine's capabilities by vanisihng into the past, and returning moments later clutching a Wispa Gold. This prompted further gasps from the crowd, with one fat man with a big moustache yelling, "What devilry and witchcraft is this?", while a lady next to him fainted.

After Mr. Brown had settled the audience, he went on to explain how he hoped to use the machine for the good of the country. "By going back in time, and putting right what once went wrong, I will be able to craft a far better future for Britain, and its people," he said, completing his statement by doing that weird thing with his mouth.

Since the time travel plan was revealed, rival politicians have been quick to dismiss the idea. David Cameron, of the Conservative Party, said that the scheme was, "wildly irresponsible," and "open to abuse." He also expressed his fears that should Mr. Brown encounter his past self, or fall in love with his own mother, he could open a rift in the space-time continuum and bring about the destruction of the very universe, claims which the government have been quick to dismiss as, "nonsense."

Mr. Brown will begin travelling through time as soon as he has become Prime Minister, when he plans to travel back to 2003, to ensure that Cadbury's do not discontinue the Wispa bar.