champion of the day

Andrew Rosenblum

Age: 73

Real Name: Warneck Steeljaw

Strengths: Master of fists, medium-paced walker

Weaknesses: N/A

Location of Secret Hideout: Somewhere deep beneath the metropolis

Favourite Sexual Position: Piledriver

Notable quote: “I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Age: 57

Spouse: Guy Siner.

Strengths: Steely determination, master strategist, ruthless leader, sensible jackets.

Weaknesses: Cyanide, black pussy.

Weapons: Disarms with wit, kills with sexy.

Favourite food: Findus crispy pancakes floating in a sea of Ragu original pasta sauce.

Notable quote: “If Paris Hilton thinks that pedal-pushers and a pair of patent leather mules are still where it's at this season then I am happy for her, I am.  But I know, and you know, that it's got to be a knee-length a-line and toeless kitten-heels for Summer 07."